The Moon is in The Seventh House
Faithfully, every month I read my horoscope with hope and trepidation. I don't ever admit I buy into the hocus pocus in polite company, but I do. Horoscopes, astrology, healing crystals, tarot cards, Native American spirituality, mediums, ghosts, angels, destiny, karma, serendipity, all of it. I also believe in alien life, shape-shifters, Sasquatch, fairies, and the Loch Ness Monster.
On August 1, I read my horoscope. Four different ones. (If they generally all say the same thing, I'm good. It's when they spout different interpretations of the planets that anything can happen.) This month we have two major events in the skies. A lunar eclipse and a solar eclipse. A bunch of other shit is going on up there as well, but it's too complicated for me to understand. I just know my life is supposed to change in a big way.
Anyway, part of one horoscope said to look back at where I was 19 years ago, and four months ago as this theme will be where the new shift in my life will occur. It also said my home and its people and contents will be my major focus this month. Buying and selling home and property. That also includes my parents (my father, coincidentally, shares my birthday). It also mentioned someone from the past will appear out of the blue. ( I get this every so often and nothing ever happens.)
Romance is not the predominant driving force for this cycle.
Publishing, Writing, School, Internet, Recognition are. (I get this all the time. Nothing ever happens.)
Last week, I picked up a copy of Christiane Northup's Women and Menopause. I'm nearly finished going through the "change", but better read late than never. Besides, I already had the copy of Women's Bodies, Women's Medicine. It would complete the set. Monster had volleyball practice Monday night, so I took the book with me and sat in the car for two hours reading. (When she got in the car she said, "Wow, you're already up to page 69! (She hates to read. Thinks it's boring.)
In the book, Northup quoted a Native American Tarot card. I used to read Native American Tarot cards. Nineteen years ago. Along with the other insights I received from the author's words, I took it as a sign. The Universe was telling me something and I needed to pay attention.
Last week, my father received a letter from my Cousin Kathy, Uncle Jake's daughter. Jake is my father's brother (fought in WWII, received the Medal of Honor from Sen. Jack Reed, and was buried with full military honors). He died in October last year. Anyway, Kathy's letter contained her account of the last days she spent with Jake. It was very moving, detailed, and sad. My father told me to send Kathy a response. He couldn't do it.
Because I'm a volunteer at Monster's school and have a semi-important job, I have been there on and off all summer. On Wednesday, the teachers had their annual get-back-together lunch and workshop. I went to my office and did my thing all the while knowing that I was going to see the man who left me a year ago to marry another woman. (Read on to find out what happened.)
And Peace Will Guide the Planet
My mother has Alzheimer's. Enough said. However, I have been trying for years to convince my father to get help in a few days a week. I can only do so much. When I was at school Wednesday, I ran into a lady I knew from the church. Virginia is her name. She's Latina, and just so sweet. I talked to her last year about helping my mother. She had two other jobs and couldn't get away. Then I found out she began working for one of the teachers whose dad suffered from Alzheimer's. I was angry that Jean would undercut me like that. Good help is hard to find and I needed help.
At school yesterday, I also saw Jean, who buried her father in June. I also ran into Virgina (something completely out of the blue whom I hadn't seen since March 2016) I begged her to come and work for me. (As of this writing, I still haven't told my father she's coming.) Virginia said to me, "I know you think I abandoned you last year, but Jean's father needed me more at that time. You have always been a strong woman and I knew you could do what you needed to do for your mother for a little while longer. But now I am here for you with no encumbrances and everything will be fine."
I am a strong woman and did perfectly fine on my own. But now the moon was in the seventh house and Virginia has come to save me. Didn't I mention that my horoscope said part of my theme would be my parents? and the past?
And Love Is In the Stars
To get back to the man. The basics--He is 42. I am 55. He is gorgeous. I am not. He has 2 Master's Degrees. I have a single B.A. When I met him he had been engaged to her for 3 years. My ex and I have been living separate and apart for the last 10 of our 13-year relationship, even though we live together. (Another long story. Someday I'll tell you.) The man met My Daughter's Father (#MDF) last summer and understands my living arrangement.
During our brief, year long "friendship" the man and I discussed books and art and politics and life and philosophy and music and he read all my books and I helped him with his curriculum and we were nearly inseparable when we could be together. We talked about everything. He was intellectually superior to me, but I was thirteen years older than he was. I could boss him around and he didn't care. I loved him. L.O.V.E.D. him and was devastated when he left. Don't get me wrong, deep down inside, I wasn't fooling myself. I knew it could never work out between us, but the fantasy I had read about in books was actually my reality and the reality was pretty amazing. While it lasted.
He had taken another job two Septembers ago and would be going west over that summer to marry his fiancee. I would never see him again. Ask my best friend Debbie how I cried. But life moves on and in the end, I got over it.
Anyway, as fate would have it, in May I found out he would be returning to the school this August. All summer long, I concocted various scenarios in my head of how I would greet this man when I first saw him. How I needed to show him that what we had was all in the past. How I'm just fine and not weeping anymore. (told you I loved him) I was all right that he married his girlfriend. As I said, I am always at school, so I had to put aside my feelings and behave in a rational manner. I was an adult. I could do this.
To make a long story short. I finally saw him. In the office. He said hello. I said hello. I left the office. Pretty good. I wasn't hysterical. I pretty much ignored him. Yay me. Walking back to my office, I stopped in to see Jean and Julie, talked for a few minutes and then stepped back into the hall to proceed on my merry way. The man was waiting for me by the water cooler.
It was as if we had never been apart. The words just came tumbling from our lips, babbling coherently/incoherently to keep up with the other's questions. I couldn't contain my curiosity and asked him, "How was the wedding?" And he said, "She dumped me."
That's all I'll say about that. However, he also asked if I had finished my detective stories. No, but am working on them. I mentioned the book on menopause I was reading and he asked, "You're reading again?" (Another insight I found along the way.) The entire experience was like we were never parted. If he were any other man, I would say he likes me in that way. I'll let you know what happens.
The Past is the Present is the Future
Nineteen years ago, I was working as a bartender in small mining town in Nevada. Men, booze, and trouble were abundant. About a year-and-a-half, after I got there, things weren't working out for me so much and all I could think about was what a mistake I had made leaving the best job I ever had and wanting to get back home. There was a solar eclipse that also fell under a lunar eclipse in August.
Four months ago, in April, I was trying to find us a beach house to rent back home for the summer. I was thwarted at every turn. I also began writing the book I am currently trying to finish. A woman's journey to help her aunt battle Alzheimer's demons and what happens when the family skeletons fall out of the closet. Every conversation in one form or other between Rose and Abby is true. I've also tied in other main characters from previously published books, which was fun for me to revisit and see where they are now. I am writing what I know, setting it in the place that I know best. Home.
Nineteen years ago, my aunt was diagnosed with severe to moderate Alzheimer's.
When I write, I always find pictures of my characters to help in the process. When I found the love interest, (I write romantic women's fiction) I nearly lost my mind when I also found out the actor I had chosen also shared my birthday (albeit different years) and had once played a character by the name of Billy Gallagher. (My true life grandfather's name.) (Gallagher. The other pen name that I write under.)
I always kept a journal. Always. Since I was fourteen. After I read, ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET. I stopped keeping one when I moved to Nevada nineteen years ago. *cue Twilight Zone music*
I hide the last journal I wrote in at the bottom of my underwear drawer.
Some people keep their jewels there.
Originally, I didn't know what this blog was supposed to be for.
Now, I think I do.
Robynne Rand (c) 2017
Ignore The Bullshit. Just Write #ignorebswrite